Jacob Matthew, my first grandson. So beautiful!

I'm not sure but I think he was about six months old here.  I was babysitting him while his Mom worked at the Post Office.  He always loved to come to Nana's house.  He knew I would feed him well, and he was always hungry.  He was a big boy and I love him so.  Just as I do his Mom.

Thank You, Billionaire George Soros!

Charlottesville, VA 2017.  Well, why stop with statues?   Maybe "Gone With The Wind" should be banned, too? Or, how about Thomas Jefferson's Monticello razed? After all, he was one of the largest slave owners in his time even though he wrote so eloquently that "all men are created equal." However, in present day, how does getting rid of these statues change the wicked past or make the horrendous act of slavery any less so? How does it absolve us as a nation? It doesn't. It can't. Yet, once we realized how wrong we were and even though it tore our nation apart, we went to war to try and right that wrong. The Civil War was Hell on earth for this nation.  It set son against father, brother against brother. It literally tore families apart.  Many died trying to set this wrong right, even though it came at a high price tearing our nation to pieces, killing large amounts of her own citizenry to do so. But, ask yourself this? Why is all this happening now, when we have lived with these monuments all these years since? Why is the racial pot once again boiling over? I believe I have the answer.  It is boiling over because there are factions in our country that want to divide us and they are working diligently to do so. This faction is Communism pure and simple. And, the very first thing Communism does is try to wipe out all of a country's history. They don't want the people to know who they really are and where they have come from. But, tell me, how are we to learn by our past mistakes if we don't know our own history? The simple truth is we can't! Before any other monument is taken down, or another statue knocked down, it should be voted upon by the members of the City Council, who represent the people of that community. It should be up to them whether or not these things should be kept where they are or put into a local museum. And, it must be done in a law-abiding way, not by lawless vandals sent and paid for by Communist Billionaire George Soros! We are supposed to be a nation of laws, and we are supposed to be a law-abiding people which sets us apart from other nations! This is a time we need to come together, not tear each other apart. Instead of tearing down marble symbols, what we really need to do is get down on our knees and ask God (as a Nation) to forgive us and then come together in love, not hate! After all, one Civil War has already been fought, we don't need another.

I didn't write this, but (sigh) I could have...

Ghost In This House

I don't pick up the mail
I don't pick up the phone
I don't answer the door
I'd just as soon be alone
I don't keep this place up
I just keep the lights down
I don't live in these rooms
I just rattle around

I'm just a ghost in this house
I'm just a shadow upon these walls
As quietly as a mouse I haunt these halls
I'm just a whisper of smoke
I'm all that's left of two hearts on fire
That once burned out of control
You took my body and soul
I'm just a ghost in this house

I don't care if it rains
I don't care if it's clear
I don't mind staying in
There's another ghost here
she sits down in your chair
And she shines with your light
And she lays down his head
On your pillow at night

I'm just a ghost in this house
I'm just a shadow upon these walls
I'm living proof of the damage
Heartbreak does
I'm just a whisper of smoke
I'm all that's left of two hearts on fire
That once burned out of control
And took my body and soul
I'm just a ghost in this house
Oh, I'm just a ghost in this house

Songwriters: HUGH PRESTWOOD

© Universal Music Publishing Group

My Ireland!

Ahhh, Ireland! My Ireland!

As the plane circled over Dublin airport for the 3rd time giving Aaron Feldman a close-up view of the lush green carpet of earth he called his "beloved Ireland" he sighed, muttering under his breath, "American by birth, but Irish by the Grace of God".

That's exactly what he would write to Des when he arrived home from this bloody trip.

Anxious to hear from her, he hurriedly dropped his bags in the elegant entry of his country estate, ran to the library and sat down at his computer.

Logging onto Yahoo!, he double-clicked on the Inbox. What he saw made him smile. Although he had only been gone a week on one of his numerous top-secret missions into Israel this time, with all the added problems he had encountered, it seemed like an eternity.

Too close for comfort, much to close for Aaron's liking, but he had accomplished his objective and had taken out a really bad man.

Hopefully, he was back before his six-year old daughter, Lilly, could barely miss him. A week was a short time to plan and carry out his assigned mission, but too long for a single parent to be gone. Good thing he had his personal assistant, Rose, take over the parenting duties while he was gone. Rose was old enough to be Lilly's grandmother, but she was young at heart and Lilly adored her.

He missed Lilly like crazy, but he had really missed Des, too! Looking at his inbox, she didn't disappoint. There were four ecards and at least that many emails, three of which contained several of her beautiful, original poems.

As he opened the last "missing you" ecard he smiled even broader as the tune of "Somewhere Out There" played softly. Our song, mine and Des. It may seem silly to other people because it was from a children's movie, but one Lilly had watched over and over. At some point, after he had listened to the soundtrack at least a thousand times, he realized it fit he and Des perfectly .

"Somewhere out there if love can see us through, then we'll be together, somewhere out there, out where dreams come true". If only it were that simple, he thought.

And one day, even though they lived thousands of miles apart, he vowed he would meet the woman of his dreams who had captured his heart via email over a year ago.

Just seeing her email ID always caused his heart to do a flip flop.

Amazing what words written on a computer screen had come to mean to him.

Opening her letter, seeing the warm, sincere salutation (although both knew salutations in emails were not necessary), told him at once how her heart really felt as she began, "My Dearest, Darling Aar." Again he sighed with satisfaction and longing as he did so many other times he opened her mail.

The letter said she had missed him, missed his daily correspondence and to remedy her loneliness he wrote in response:

Dear Des:

Thank you, Des, for all the mail awaiting me. It's always good to be home, but even better to have all your mail welcoming me back. I've missed you, too.

It was a long trip this time and I am exhausted. Things are so bad in Israel, anything and everything that could go wrong did.

Then to top it all off, my Glock was stolen out of my car while it was parked at the airport and I spent half of the bloody day at the Police station. The powers that be in Ireland aren't going to like it one bit.

As yet, I don't have a bloody clue as to what my punishment will be, but I'm sure there will be some meted out, on that I can depend. Hopefully, whoever took it won't use it to commit a crime, but what are the odds of that? I shutter to think.

Guess now I'll trade the BMW in for something much simpler, and less attractive. Over here, once a car has been burgled, it's marked, and they will burgle it time and again. So it's best I get rid of it. Thinking of a two-door Toyota, just large enough for Lilly and me.

Thanks again for all the cards, poems, and emails. They made my day. Guess I'd better trot off to bed, I am so exhausted I may sleep for a week.

Will write more later when I am fully rested and awake,

Always,

Aar

Yes, Des made him laugh from the inside out, and that was a good thing. So few things did anymore, as his life became more and more bogged down with both personal and international cares.

Written by Deborah Gibson Taylor

Copyright 2011

Old Life

Not often, but every once in a while, I go there. Especially this time of year, close to the time she left. Probably not a good idea, but my SH (sweet hubby) understands the heartbreak, the heartache, and it's nice to have a shoulder to cry on, someone to just listen.

It seems to come out mostly at night. And, before I know it, I am weeping. No one can fix it, well, except God in His own time. But, time does truly hang heavy when you are missing two of your family members.

One I carried under my heart for nearly ten months, happily enduring her every hiccup and mule-like kick in utero, before finally giving life to her over her loud protests. The other, my first grandchild, totally captivated my heart and I still remember the laughter and giggles when as a toddler he delightedly rubbed red Jello into his hair and on any other person who happened by.

But sadly, no matter how perfectly we may plan it, life doesn't always turn out so perfectly. And, so she walked out of my life one day and took my grandson with her.

Eleven years is a long time to never see your child's or your grandchild's face or hear their voice.

I missed all her twenties, and I often wonder what she looks like now at age 33. Is she still my beautiful, blue-eyed beauty? Or, like me, has she aged due to the loss?

And, Jacob? Sad to think he could pass me on the street and I would never know him or he know me. Yet, even when he was so very little he loved me. He knew I would try and protect him. I only hope he forgives me because I wasn't able to.

No matter what, Life just shouldn't be this way.

It's far too short even if one lives to be 100.

I love you, Melissa and Jacob.

I always will.

She's Not Me!

She's Not Me!

You can reach for the moon,

hitch your wagon to a star,

then run as far

as you think you can from me

still no matter how much you wish it to be...

she's not me!

She sprinkled stardust in your eyes,

but my love can mesmerize.

Go ahead try and flee

all my haunting memories,

but just remember...

she's not me!

She may touch you with her voice

that's totally your choice,

but what can really set you free

is your depth of love for me

and just remember...

she's not me!

By Deborah Gibson Taylor Copyright 2006

"Miracle" by Christian Artist Darlene Zschech

MIRACLE

Never give up, never give in

Never look back

C'mon now my friend

You're not alone

The hope of tomorrow is calling

There's a brighter day

On the other side

But it's up to you to put back on your stride

So get up, step out, live it

Honey don't you give up

It's time for you to start to breathe again

For the sun and the moon have never stopped

Shining on you my friend

I know you feel the world has passed you by

But the greatness in you is starting to rise

Faded dreams need to be recoloured

I know you've had it bad

But it's time to dream again

Write it down my friend

Make it plain Oh yeah

That desire you hold

It will see the light of day

There's a beautiful day

On the other side

But it's up to you to put back on your stride

So get up, step out, live it

Honey don't you give up

What's it gonna take for you to see

That it's only the grace of God

That will set you free

What's it gonna take for you to

Open up your eyes

Look beyond the skies

Faded dreams need to be recoloured

I know you've had it bad

But it's time to live again

Write it down my friend

Make it plain oh Yeh

That desire you hold

It will see the light of day

Never, never, no never give up

Time to breathe again

Time to dream again

This desire you hold

It will see the light of lay

Never give up, never give in

Never look backC'mon now my friend

You're not alone

The hope of tomorrow is calling

Sunset

Sunset

At dawn, I waited patiently on the Eastern shore,

and felt the sea spray on my face, hoping.

But, you never came.

At noon, I looked for you with shaded eyes

and a heart full of love, beyond the blue horizon, praying.

But nothing

At dusk, with heavy heart like the sinking sun that settles in the West

over the ocean waves, it came to me.

You would not come now, or ever.

At night, as clouds veiled the quartermoon with darkness,

it was then I realized with great sadness

what could have been was gone now and forever.

Copyright ©2009 Deborah Gibson Taylor