Happy Thanksgiving!

Every Thanksgiving, the table is set with my best china and silver, upon my fanciest tablecloth.  Every thing is in place, ready for my family to arrive. The crystal stemware, my beautiful flower arrangement in the center, everything just as I like it.  

The song "Over the River and through the Woods to Grandmother's House We Go" keeps playing over and over and over again in my head like a broken record, but is so apropos.  Considering I live about an hours' drive away from them and I do live out in the country, there are a couple of rivers they cross to get here. Albeit, Interstate bridges, but still bridges.

My oldest daughter, her husband, and my two grandsons, Brandon and Caleb should be well on their way to my house soon  I'm still surprised and shocked when I see them nowadays because I still think of them as little boys instead of the tall, handsome men they are now.  I actually have to look up in order to talk to them and they laugh those deep, nearly unrecognizable laughs and tell me how much they now tower over their "Nana."

On the table is turkey and dressing, ham with my special glaze, home-made gravy, corn casserole, sweet potato casserole, cranberry sauce, hot rolls with real butter, and my specialty dessert, Deb's Famous Cherry Cream Cheese pies (the name of the recipe was tongue-in-cheek as only my family and close friends, as well as some former co-workers have ever tasted it, but I still have high hopes. lol)

Yes, everything is set, but there is always someone missing.  Actually two people.  My youngest daughter, Melissa, and my oldest grandson, Jacob.  Fifteen years gone, fifteen fleeting Thanksgivings.  I've missed all of her twenties, and now nearly all her thirties. Not to mention these fifteen long years without Jacob.  All those years and milestones in his life, all vanished. Truly gone with the wind.

Yet, even though she is older, I sometimes feel she still really needs me.  At a young age, she was  thrown into adulthood (purposely planned and foisted upon her by another) far sooner than most girls her age. Often, I want to tell her I simply told the truth.  That the only one who can now vindicate me, is Jacob, my oldest grandson.  But, he never will because he is terrified of him, too.

What I would give to place my arms around her and just hold her, to protect her like I did when she was a chubby-cheeked little girl.  As only a Mother's love and arms will do.  Because only a Mother can make you feel truly secure in this world.  For sure, there is no one else in this world that will ever love you as much as your Mother does.  The one who gave birth to you, the one who raised you, the one who would let no one hurt or harm you for eighteen years. Only wish I could have saved you from him.  Life would have been so different for us all.

After all these years, I am really not morose, just get a bit sad missing her/them especially around the holidays.   But, life goes on and I have had to move on and live the life that God has been gracious enough to give me.  He's also has given me the faith that one day Melissa, Jacob, and I will be reunited.

I've also realize that Time is not a true healer, but Time is a great salve.  

Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving to you, and especially to those who are present in my life and the ones who are missing.

Love you all!

Gift of Time by Deborah Gibson Taylor

I've grown old and weary 
in your deafening absence
waiting for your presence.
And, I am disappointed.

At every turn, every bend
I hear your voice, see your face
full of beauty, full of grace.
And, I am reminded.

Oft I tremble, my hands shake
recalling fond memories of you
but always old ones, never new.
And, I weep.

My heart is heavy, my eyes tear
when I realize dearest daughter
how much I miss your laughter,
and, our lost gift of time.

I love you, Melissa, please come back!  Mom

My Mom

Obituary for Nina Jane Gibson

After a long illness, our precious mother, Nina Jane Williams Gibson, 87, entered the gates of Heaven on October 15, 2015 surrounded by her loving family. She was a 40 year resident of Cross Lanes & had previously resided in Charleston and Fraziers Bottom. Nina was born on March 9, 1928, in Powellton, WV, to John Franklin Williams and Fannie Jane Kidd Williams. Along with her parents, she was preceded in death by her brothers, John, Vernon, Charles, Donald, and Carl Williams and also by her sisters, Helen Young, Lola Akers, and Reba Coombs and great grandson, Cody Roby. Nina is survived by her six loving children,  In addition, Nina is survived by 25 grandchildren, 31 great-grandchildren, numerous nieces, nephews and extended family & friends.
Nina was a child of the Great Depression and also a “coal miner’s daughter,” having spent much of her childhood in the coal mining areas of Fayette County. Her family later moved to Putnam County, where she lived for several years while raising her family. Nina devoted her life to her family and, for over thirty years, was co-owner and secretary/receptionist for Gibson’s Scale Service. Nina was a devoted Christian and formerly attended Charleston Mountain Mission. She had a talent for painting and sewing, and she loved to read and work crossword puzzles. Nina was a gifted cook and was famous for her Sunday dinners and graham cracker pies. She was highly knowledgeable on a variety of subjects which she passed along to many children as a mother, grandmother, and child-care provider. She was extremely proud of her family and the fact that all six of her children were born on a Sunday.
Although she will be highly missed, we know that she has gone to a better place where there is no pain or suffering, and are comforted by the knowledge that we will see her again. 

Sometimes there are just no words.

Almost Heaven Wild And Wonderful WV

Reminds me very much of my Paternal Grandma's Front Porch and the many memories we grandkids made there.  DJH

These misty water-colored dreams
of a life I lived long, long ago
keep drifting through my mind
An old wooden porch
with flowers growing near...

Sometimes you just have to get away!

I didn't realize how much pressure we have been under.  Guess while you are going through things, you simply keep putting one foot in front of the other, and move forward.  One can't retreat,  and do what???that's for sure.  With four close relatives in nursing homes, we are dealing with a son who has total liver failure, another close relative who has Alzheimer's and no longer recognizes her family members, one who has dementia and keeps trying to "escape" by cutting off his tracking bracelet, and another with a fractured hip and is now bedfast.  Plus, contending with all sorts of PEOPLE when showing our rental houses, it can be quite hectic to say the least.  So, we decided to cut and run!  LOL  DH will be working 12/7 soon enough for about three months, so Fall didn't seem to be an option to take a vacation, so it was either now or never for at least this year.  Glad we decided to do so, even though the weather at the beach is a little overcast and rainy, it is supposed to clear up and the latter part of the week, be exceptional.  Here's a peek at our little vacation home on the beach. Hope you enjoy the pictures as much as we have enjoyed staying here.  BTW:  Those are murals painted on the ceiling.  Quite fancy, no?  ;-)

Much Love to my Dad

If he lives through this, he will turn 91 on June 5th.

Dumb nursing home hadn't been giving him his diabetes medicine since last November.  I mean he went in a diabetic, what made them think he had gotten "over it?"

WE finally realized it only after he had been admitted to the hospital.  Apparently, when he was sitting in the dining room waiting for his lunch, he had a seizure at the table, fell forward hitting his face (his glasses ground into his face) and fell onto the floor breaking a bone in his upper shoulder. I was told by the nurse they were really frightened.  Well, they should have been frightened because his sugar so so out of whack, he seized!

Unfortunately, my oldest sister has MPA.  She makes all the decisions and placed both my Mom and Dad in the same lousy nursing home! After I did  a little investigating, I find it is ranked the WORST nursing home in the State of WV.  (Sadly, someone obviously didn't do their homework before placing them.)

Most evenings you can't even go in there the smell (of dirty diapers) is so very bad, you have to hold your nose.  One patient goes so far as to smear Vick's Vapo Rub under her nose and on the door frame of her room in order to be able to tolerate the smell.  Seriously!

It just  breaks my heart for my parents, two of the most hard-working people ever, to be subjected to this type of neglect in their advanced ages.

I can't even bring him (or her) home with me not only because I am barely able to take care of myself with all the illnesses and conditions they tell me I have, but because my sister wouldn't allow it.  Makes me so sad.

But, those emotions have turned to pure anger! I can tell you I am totally frustrated with the nursing home. You think your loved one is safer there than home alone.  Ha!  At least when they were at home, they were able to take care of their diabetes and high blood pressure themselves.  However, once you enter a nursing home, you are totally at the mercy of the NH administrator and the Federal government.  Did you know that?

Seriously, before they will pay a dime, you have to sign the person over to them, giving them guardianship. Which means, they can't have a vitamin pill, or even an aspirin (Tylenol) for a headache without first having the staff doctor order  it, and he doesn't even come into the place except every two weeks.  Seriously???

 I mean most of our animals are treated better than that.

Oh, yeah and Dad also has a fractured pelvis.  How did that happen???  He looked like he had been beaten up. Like I said, I can only hope and pray he makes it through to his next birthday.

Prayers for my Dad.   Love him.