REALITY

Jun 5, 2005 at 4:57 PM

Reality

As I lie here half asleep in the darkness
contemplating rising,
only half of me wishes to accommodate
my semiconscious state.

Yet I rise, dropping bare feet into slippers,
before they can touch the cold floor,
and push me into harsh reality,
long before the day dictates I must.

Before the sun rises, before the warm tea
has any effect upon me,
my thought patterns emerge
and for the hundredth time they ask:

Who turned the sunlight off?
Who took all the colors from the rainbow,
leaving everything so gray?
Who stole my hopes and dreams
out of my heart and head away?

Who, please tell me, took my passion for love, my zest for life?
Then the answer to all my cerebral torture comes
and says very simply, you did.

You did, when you decided not to participate
in my life! 

You did, when you took my heart and in
it's place left a gaping, bleeding hole!

Because with you went my skies of blue,
and sunny, happy days.

Even now in this lackluster haze,
I recognize you were my strength,
my courage, my heart!

For only with you was I totally alive!

  But, now it seems I've died!
Or, is it simply I have wanted to,
for lack of you?

If only someone could tell me now,
how do I separate you from the very fibers
of my heart, my soul, my being?

So, I can once more breath again,
live again, laugh again?

Please, does anyone know?

Deborah Taylor Hodge

Copyright ©2005 Deborah Taylor