BELOVED

Beloved

Don't punish me for loving you,

for such cannot be helped.

Don't be angry or abuse me,

for a torment Fate has dealt.

I'm at the Hands of Mercy,

for no other will ever do.

My heart sold out, betrayed me,

that someone, Love, is you!

Say you spare me from the anguish,

protect me from the grief?

But I say it's far too late,

our love far too brief.

For I loved you before this disease,

I loved you from the start.

And now is such a cruel time

to break my heart apart.

Don't punish me for loving you,

by pushing me away.

Just hold me tightly in your arms,

and forever with me stay.

Reality

Reality

As I lie here half asleep

in the darkness

contemplating rising,

only half of me wishes

to accommodate

my semiconscious state.

Yet I rise,

dropping bare feet into slippers,

before they can touch the cold floor,

and push me into harsh reality,

long before the day dictates I must.

Before the sun rises,

before the warm tea

has any effect upon me,

my thought patterns emerge

and for the hundredth time they ask:

Who turned the sunlight off?

Who took all the colors from the rainbow,

leaving everything so gray?

Who stole my hopes and dreams

out of my heart and head away?

Who, please tell me,

took my passion for love,

my zest for life?

Then the answer

to all my cerebral torture comes

and says very simply, you did.

You did, when you decided

not to participate in my life.

You did, when you took my heart

& in it's place left a gaping, bleeding hole.

Because with you

went my skies of blue,

& sunny, happy days.

Even now in this lackluster haze,

I recognize

you were my strength,

my courage,

my heart.

For only with you was I totally alive.

But, now it seems I've died.

Or, is it simply I have wanted to,

for lack of you?

If only someone could tell me now,

how do I separate you

from the very fibers of my heart,

my soul, my being?

So, I can once more breath again,

live again,

laugh again?

Please, does anyone know?

Why?

Why?

Why do I feel so much, yet can say so little?

About how my heart feels inside?

About how it's breaking apart?

How part of me has died?

Why do I long to touch your face, your lips?

To feel you ever close to my heart?

Deep yearnings all so real,

yet, we're a million miles apart.

Tell me, my love, how do I stop the pain,

as only you really can?

Tell me, too, how do I stop loving you?

For it's more than my wounded heart can stand.

Virginia Wonderings (aka Business Trips)

Sorry for my absence these last two weeks, but a funny thing happened in Virginia. I stayed for two weeks instead of the usual one. Why? Well, business mainly, but the area is so beautiful I couldn't resist. If you've never visited Smith Mountain Lake you are in for a real visual treat. The views from the Peaks of Otter - at a breathtaking 4,000 feet - are stunning to say the least. I think (know) West Virginia is a beautiful state, but the central mountains of Virginia rank right up there in my humble opinion. And, although I don't drink, it seems to be a region where grapes and wineries flourish. I counted 30, yes 30, "Wine Events" that are held throughout the year. Just reading the list is enough to make a tea totaler giddy. LOL Of course, with all the surrounding farmland, and the hard-working German Baptist farmers, there is no end to fresh, local, and luscious produce. Plus, the scenery alone is well worth the trip! I'll publish a photo or two when I can get the chance to upload. DJT